Judgement Day

For followers of radio preacher Harold Camping, doomsday is expected to arrive tomorrow, May 21, 2011.
During the so-called rapture on May 21—said to be Judgment Day—Jesus Christ is predicted to return to Earth to gather the faithful into heaven, according to Camping, the founder of the independent ministry Family Radio Worldwide. In preparation for this monumental event, I found these Judgement Day FAQ's for you, constant reader. Click HERE to read. So, since this is supposed to happen tomorrow...umm...talk soon?
xoxo
SGS

Curb Appeal

The actual Amityville Horror house is up for sale.

If I had $1.5 million, I would SO consider making it my home.

In related news the field in Field of Dreams is also up for sale.

Church Bulletin Misprints...

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

ORF News

Interesting news about One Red Flower found OVER HERE at Playbill.

Undisovered Tribe found!

An undisovered tribe has been found! Imagine how freaked out they were seeing a helicopter for the first time and not knowing what it is...read the story here...

A CAUTIONARY TALE - PART 2

So I rolled into the cursed garage of Shirlington at 6:57PM, as my picture shows, to rehearse for an upcoming extension of the Kander and Ebb Celebration at Signature. Of course I could not park in a Signature parking space, as they were all taken. (See my comments below on the last post where I tell the story of an Arlington County Police officer parking in a Signature Theatre Employee space).
I noticed as I came in that the spaces that were designated for Library customers were full.






Yet...
How is this possible?
As I reiterate, these are the hours of the Shirlington Library...








And to add further hypocrisy, the Police are added as a secondary number to the over zealous and money grubbing dirt of the earth towing company, A-1 Towing. This is even more funny since a Police car was parked in a Signature Theatre Employee space earlier this week. I guess that is ok?!
So the Library has been closed for one hour and fifty seven minutes, yet, these are the cars who are parking there...





Now the reason that I was towed was that I was parking in a Library spot. Even thought the Library had closed 8 hours earlier. Well, here are many parked cars in the Library spots and the Library was closed. Why aren't they being towed?
Is there a certain time that towing starts to get enforced, and if so, why is that time not notated in signage in the garage? Why is it ok for these people to park here and they don't get towed, yet I did?
Let's look at the ONE small sign outside the garage again...

It says Permit Parking 24 Hours a Day/ 7 Days a Week Towing enforced.
Well...obviously not. There is a hypocrisy here. The tow trucks really tow at a certain time. Why is that time not posted? If it was, I would have not parked where I did. The $100 that I had to pay left me with $75 to get through the week on. This will make things very tight for me. For what?
There is already limited parking in Shirlington, so why does the Library horde these spaces even when they are not open?
SO I left my rehearsal at 9:07PM, 4 hours and 7 minutes since the library had closed.

Look at the cars behind my cell phone. As you see, they are still there. No one is towing them. Why? Why is it ok at 9:07PM, but not at 2AM? If there is a certain hour in which it is forbidden, it should be posted. I cannot help the fact that I keep later hours due to my jobs, and if all of these people who parked here illegally at either 6:57pm or 9:07pm were not towed, then why should I have been?






I am not done exploring this, and will be e-mailing both Federal Realty and the Shirlington Library tomorrow. I will also be in touch with WTOP's Shirley Rooker with Call to Action, and Channel 7 on Your Side.
It is not in your best interests to park in this garage, as there are obviously rules that are being made up at random that don't apply at all hours of the day, and you could be towed within 5 minutes of parking there.
Stay away from this garage at all costs.
SGS

A CAUTIONARY TALE - UPDATED

Why am I awake at 4AM? I just got back from the impound lot. My car got towed from the Signature garage tonight. I ran into Harris Teeter for 5 minutes (seriously 5 minutes) to get a loaf of bread. When Matt and I came out, there was no car. We parked in a Library spot. But guess what? The Library was closed for hours before we parked there.
So I was there for 5 minutes and the company patrolling Shirlington at 1AM towed me. There is no signage that tells you that you will be towed if you park there.

Now I know that no one towing or whatever knows or cares about that, but it burns my butt that I am awake at 4AM because of this. It burns me up so bad that instead of falling asleep like I should, I chose to write this to you.
It took FOREVER for me to even get my car from impound and cost me $100 that I DONT HAVE. Is it really that important that the Library enforces towing on its spaces after it is clearly closed?
I am going to speak to the head of the library tomorrow to discuss this. I took pictures, and there is no signage to support this.
So be wary, Shirlington parker...5 minutes in the lot can cost you HOURS of time and $100.
It would burn me up less if I didn't have to fight for parking during KISS and know and SEE people parking in the "Theatre Employee" spaces who were clearly not there as a "Theatre Employee". But are they towed? No.
UGH.
UPDATE:
So I went down to the garage this morning to specifically take pictures of everything.
Here is the outside of the garage. Keep this picture in mind for later.




Yes, I did park in a spot that was reserved for Library Visitors. But since I was literally running in for a loaf of bread for the morning (It was 2AM), I thought it would be ok for me to park there to just walk in and walk out. Nothing there said that it was going to get towed, right? Nothing says Permit Only, or Tow Away Zone, or Reserved 24 Hours, right?







I know that the Library is quite closed at this hour, so I can't imagine that I am preventing anyone from visiting the library.







But after I was towed, the Harris Teeter checkout girl went out with us, and got the number off of this small sign which is outside the garage to the right, which I have never seen before, and definitely did not see in then dark of 2AM.

But still, it says Permit Parking 24 Hours a Day - you need no Permit to park in a library space. Even if I would see this sign, I would imagine that it pertained more to the Residential Parking on the top floor.
This is simply inadequate signage, and I am not going to take this lying down. I am going to contact Federal Realty (Thanks, Googla Monster) and fight this out. I may also have to "Get 7 on my Side".
I am sorry, but in economic times like these, I CANNOT afford to lose $100 for something this idiotic.
Wish me luck.
SGS

CAN I GET A NAPKIN?

From the troupe that brought you "FROZEN GRAND CENTRAL STATION" that was posted here earlier, comes this new public improv experiment. The group is called Improv Everywhere, and this latest stunt is to start a spontaneous musical number in the middle of a food court.
Enjoy.

90 Day Jane

***UPDATED AS OF 2/13 1:11PM - BLOGGER HAS TAKEN DOWN 90 DAY JANE'S BLOG, AND THE MUSEUM OF HOAXES HAS REPORTED THAT THEY SUSPECT IT ALL TO BE A HOAX. ANYONE GOT ANY MORE INFO?***
Have any of you heard about his girl who has written a blog discussing her last 90 days, as she will kill herself at the end of it?
Morbid, yes.
Disturbing, yes.
A media ploy? maybe.
One thing is for certain...it is fascinating. It reminds me in a weird way of Meet John Doe.Here she is.

Too Weird..

I found this link off of CNN, and it tells of a MYSTERIOUS BLOB. This is not the first mysterious blob I have reported on this blog. There was ANOTHER.
Too weird.

Secret Santa

Well, Santa has struck our household this season. Matt and I received in the mail an envelope with a card that had pugs on it, and inside were 2 $50 gift certificates to Harris Teeter! The return address was simply Santa Claus, The North Pole! Wow!
I have no idea who gave this ridiculously generous and anonymous gift to us, but we thank you from the bottom of our hearts, and are truly touched by your gift.
As always, cash is tight for us around the holidays, as it is for most everyone, and this gift helps us get through the month with a little more comfort. Thank you so much, again!

And PS, I have not forgotten the year in review series, I just have been SOOOO busy between work (I'm at work right now on lunch break) and Christmas that I have had little time to work on it. I do have one post that I am working on, and will hopefully have up tonight around 8ish.
Talk later!
SGS

Frustration

So, we had a little tick tick commercial put together for our last extension week by the theatre. It was a fantastic commercial, and in league with actor's equity standards ( 3 minutes, and no clip lasting more than 30 seconds), yet someone reported it and had it taken down. Now there is no commercial. A marketing tool shot down. By who?
I wonder. hmmm.
I know how to find out who did it. I am currently on a quest to do such. I have a hunch.
This is why my Union can be screwed up. We here in DC are at a horrible economic point as far as selling tickets to shows. No one has money to go and see shows right now. Any way we can market a show is a blessing and a godsend.
This ad was in standing with regulation, and because someone bitched about it, and why, I'd love to know, it was pulled.
What kind of protection is my union offering me by preventing an ad to go up that will sell tickets to an extension? I am not being taken advantage of in any way.
If this is someone in the union's idea to enforce rules, then guess what? They are A) wrong, because the ad met rule code, B) not helping me as an equity actor. Know why? Because now I will not be helped by the ad to fill the house.
So to whom it may concern who thought that they were being some kind of savior of the modern world...you were wrong in reporting this, and also...you are not helping or defending us. You are hurting us.
SO sorry for this post, but I cannot hide my frustration with this situation. When arts and theatre are hidden and tied down behind such regulations and tape, they are not art. Don't we want people to come and see us?
Goodnight,
Luv,
SGS

soup...(a condensed story)

What time is it? 6pm. One hour before I jump in the car, and drive the purple station wagon down to Metro Stage. Soup time. I usually eat chicken noodle soup for dinner during show nights. I can't eat anything that really is a trigger for my acid-reflux, and I don't want to eat anything too heavy, as I really don't have time for offstage burps. Or God forbid anything else.
The soup, as you all know, is pretty bland so it works well enough. The broth is also a nice warm treat for my vocal chords.
When I used to be asked by my cast mates what I had for dinner, after about the fifth time of answering soup, they got the picture. I told them that I had been eating so much soup that my last name should be Campbell.
Sometimes, Felicia will ask me out of the blue between shows, "Are you going home? What are you going to eat?".
I'll look at her and say, "What's my last name?".
She nods, knowingly.
Matt Pearson started worrying about my sodium levels since I was eating so much soup. I eased his fears by informing him, "no-no...I eat Healthy Request Soup. No worries." He shook his head and walked away laughing.
But about three weeks ago, Matty (my Matt) volunteered to make me my soup dinner while I walked Buddha. I came back and looked at what seemed to be a HUGE bowl of soup.
"How many cans did you make?", I asked Matt.
"Just one, honey.", he said.
I thought to myself that it must have been a large can. Oh well.
I started to eat it. Hmm...it tasted awfully bland. I even asked Matt if it were a different brand. He said no.
The next day around dinner time, Matt was in the kitchen fixing dinner, and I joined him, making my soup. He watched as I poured the can into the pot on the burner, and then went back to flipping my grilled cheese in the skillet.


"Aren't you going to add any water, honey?", he asked.
"NO! Why? That's why it tasted funny yesterday! I thought it tasted watered down!"
I felt like Sherlock Holmes, just having solved the mystery of a century. A great "A-HA!" moment. Water in the soup? No way, man. That's like when people put water in red sauce to make more of it, but what ends up happening is that they have a whole bunch of thin, runny, and nasty sauce. I hate that.
"But honey, you're supposed to...it's condensed soup."
I pondered this for a minute.
"Doesn't it taste horrible without water? It must be like eating pure salt!", Matty said.
I pondered more. Condensed?
"But I have never added water to it.", I said.
Suddenly I felt a wave of stupidity, mixed with embarrassment, mixed with hysterics.
I became what I can't stand: just like every man who doesn't ever read instructions or directions because he knows he must be right.
We both had a huge laugh about the whole situation.
The next time I made soup, I used the recommended amount of water. Still blah. Tasted like water with some noodles in it.
So, I met the instructions half way. Half the amount. Which is how I eat it now.
Do I miss eating condensed soup without water added? A little.
Do my arteries? Not one bit.
With that, I have just finished my soup, so should go wash my dirty dishes and throw a sweater on. Time to go to work.
Have a warm, fuzzy, flannel blanket, cup of hot cocoa, curl up on the couch and watch old movies kind of evening. And if you have not yet, come and see tick,tick...BOOM! (10 remaining performances!)
Talk to you soon,
SGS

Some Things Never Change...

When I looked closer at the picture from the post below, I laughed as I had just seen a picture of me from when I was very young a few minutes earlier...in almost the exact same jacket.
Guess my taste in clothes hasn't changed one bit.
Or the way I wear my hair for that matter.
Hmmm...

strangers on a train...

(Photo by me)
Today I rode into work with my roommate, Ryan. He works at the Kennedy Center box office, and I work at Ticket Place. He has to be at work a half an hour earlier than I do, so it all works out great: I ride in with him, take the Kennedy Center shuttle to the Foggy Bottom metro, then metro to Metro Center, then walk a few blocks and I'm there. This has saved me gas money, plus is an eco friendly way to work (similar to my car pooling with Amy McWilliams during MJD).
Going home is a different matter, however, since Ryan gets off earlier than I do. So I take the Archives metro,making sure to grab a bus transfer receipt before I catch my train, and get off at the Pentagon stop. From there I catch the 22A bus, give the bus driver my bus transfer receipt and 35 cents. I get off about 2 blocks from my house and walk home.
Easy, right?
So this morning at about 8:30AM I am getting ready and see on the dresser a pile of change. I put this change there the night before to remind myself that I needed heaps of change that morning (some to add fare onto my metro card, and some for the bus). I grab a fistful and am on my way out.
Work was great.
Fast forward to the evening's commute. I get my bus transfer thingy as I am running down to Archives at 6:31, when metro's website said that their next train was coming.

Not quite true, but there you go.
The train gets there and I get on, seated across from some obvious travellers with their luggage in tow. I reach into my pocket to pull out 35 cents, knowing that the ride home is short, and I want to be prepared for the next step in the commute home. I pull out a hand full and see that it consists entirely of quarters. I check my other pockets and get the same story. No dime. All I need is a lousy dime, and have nothing but quarters. "Ok, what do I do? ", I think. I could ask someone while I am waiting for the bus if they have change for a quarter. I would hate to trouble someone like that, but what else do I do? I need exact change or I have no ride home.
Just then I overhear the travellers across from me ask a girl to their left if she knew how they could get to the Kennedy Center from the metro. The girl took out her ear buds from her Ipod long enough to shake her head and mutter "no". They looked concerned, and no one else seemed to be taking up the mantle of helpful DC metro area citizen.

I said to them, "You need to get the train to the Kennedy Center?"
"Yes, thanks so much! Our hotel is in Crystal City, but how will we get there from there?"
I showed them the way, illustrating the journey by highlighting the points of start and stop on the metro map behind them that they had not seen. I also informed them about the Kennedy Center shuttle, something I was ever so familiar with, and that if they wanted to make it in time to see their show, they had better get off at the next stop and switch lines and go straight to the Kennedy Center.
They thanked me, and also asked if there were any restaurants around the area. I informed them about the cafe at the Kennedy Center.
They were again thankful.
I thought to myself- "self-this is a great way to segway to ask them for change for my quarter...after all...wasn't all of that helpful advice worth at least 10 cents?"
I asked if they had change for a quarter, sheepishly telling them that I had no exact change for the bus, and that if they didn't have change, but still had a dime that I would give them a quarter for it.
The lady searched her purse and said, "I don't have change, but I do have a dime."
I gave her a quarter for her dime and said a very sheepish thank you.
Is sheepish even the word that I am looking for here? I don't care, forget it.
I get off the metro, and so do the travellers, heeding my advice to switch lines and get to the theatre asap. They question me once more as the train is zooming away.

"How do we get to the blue trains?"
I tell them that they have to go up one floor, and the blue line will be on their right hand side.
"Thank you so much. You know, you must be related to George.", the male traveller says to me.
"George?", I asked, not even seeing it coming.
"Bush. I say you must be related to George Bush because you're the nicest person we've met in this town!", the male traveller laughs to himself.
wow.
I must be related to George Bush, because I'm nice. Yeah, I totally see that correlation.
?
I laugh back and say before I part company with the travellers, "Nope, I am definitely not. Enjoy your show!"
Laughing at the whole exchange in my head, I ascended the escalator and walked to the 22A platform.
The bus pulls up, and as I go to hand the bus driver the transfer receipt and my well earned 35 cents, I see that there is a bag over where you put your fare that says "FREE RIDE TODAY".
I am a bit perplexed to this, and sit quickly in the front seat.
Talking to strangers seemed to be in fashion today, so I asked the bus driver, "Why is the bus free today?"
He says, "huh?". The tone that the "huh" was delivered in sounded like "don't talk to me."
"Why is it free?", I repeat.
"Bus is free when the air quality is Code:Orange.", he told me as if I should have known this my whole life.
Just having taken the bus for the first time last week, I still am learning the ropes.
I slump back in my seat and think about the 35 cents and the travellers. Funny how I went through all of that trouble and worry about a damn dime for a bus ride when I didn't even need one.
I knew that the bus had a stop on 34th, but wondered if there was anything closer. I asked the bus driver and he said something that sounded like yes, but I wasn't quite sure. I wasn't about to ask him to repeat whatever he grunted. He looked like he was wound tight and ready to spring.
I almost got off at the 34th stop, but thought, no, I'll see if there is a stop just a little bit closer. I pulled the stop request wire just before the intersection I was hoping to stop at.
No dice.
He didn't stop till one block past that.
oh well.
I walked the 2 1/2 blocks home and thought about how so many people commute like this daily, and even more involved in the transfer department. I am lucky I don't have to do this every single day. It is a little much for my ADD to handle.
Perhaps that is why all of the other commuters around traveller 1 and 2 chose to remain strangers on a train and not intervene. They just rode on in bored blank silence, staring at nothing in particular, or tuned the world passing by around them out by medicating themselves numb with Ipods.
Next stop, apathy.


I laugh to myself at the silliness of all of this as I walk to my front door.
Time to get some rest before I start this whole day over again tomorrow.
G'night.
SGS

The missing "S"

Thought that I would point this out because it made me laugh...The old Signature is now just plain "ignature". Where the "S" went to is beyond me, but the first time I saw this, I nearly broke my neck on the double take.

I had to pull over and take a picture. I have been meaning to put this up for over a week now, but only now remembered about it.