Monday, August 22, 2005

My Nemesis...

Hey all..thanks for stopping by...Theatreboy has chosen this post as the permalink because he likes stories with doggy-poo. :)
To view my up to date blog, visit: www.StephenGregory.blogspot.com
Keep a smile on your face, and the dogshit off your shoes...confused? Read below...

OK...All those who know me, know that I am working for a pet sitting company in South Arlington, Happy Hounds..(703-553-0555).

Also...I am an actor in DC...therefore, I am CONSTANTLY fighting for money.

Now that I am not performing in a show till November, I have to make as much money as I can, anyway I can....hey big boy, how ya' doin? Sorry. No. Not that way. Yet.

So, I have taken on some pet-sitting jobs, where I go and stay at people's houses and take care of their pets for money. The way I see it, I'm paid to sleep somewhere...no brainer.

That was, until I met Molly.

Molly, a Chocolate Lab puppy of 4 months is cute, sure. Behind that cuteness lay the eyes of Satan.

I started my stay with Molly on this past Thursday night. She didn't go to bed till 3AM. I was in hell. I played with her all that I possibly could, but it was not enough. When I stopped playing and shut my eyes, she would bark at me. Finally, she fell asleep at 3. She woke me up promptly at 5:30 AM. She ran to the door and back to me, indicating a need for potty time. I said, "Screw you, you just let me go to sleep 2 hours ago, you can wait!" I closed my eyes. I suddenly feel a warm sensation on my feet. I jumped up and saw a huge turd on my feet. Serves me right, I guess. Molly and I were arch enemies ever since.

Oh, yes, my friends...Like Batman and The Joker, such are me and Molly. In the course of my 3 day tour, she ate everything. For all my close personal friends, you know my beer tab necklace. My personal talisman. She ate it. I could have killed her. She chewed my phone till it looks like it went into an acid bath. A DVD of mine, as well. "The Pigkeeper's Daughter", if you were curious.

I ended my sentence Sunday afternoon and returned to the solace of my home, Matthew and Buddha the wonder pug. I slept like a babe, a little richer, even.

Then I get a call tonight from my boss. Molly needs an overnight next Saturday night. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Will I do it? Sure....$.

Will I take a rubber mallet? Perhaps...:)

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a bitch.

Anonymous said...

Molly, Molly, Molly, I know this dog. I've walked her, and I'm your roommate. She is without a doubt Satan's Spawn. I think she deserves to live with someone we both know. Wink!

Anonymous said...

Just found your blog! Yay! (I work at RHT as a PT House Manager.) Anyway, glad to have found your blog ... I will check in regularly.

That said, I will keep my eyes open for any qualified pet exorcists. I used to dog sit quite a bit and had only one of those.

Oh, and what show are you doing in November? I need to get it on my calendar.

STEPHEN GREGORY SMITH said...

Sherri...
Glad you popped in for a bit!
Damn Yankees at Arena Stage...
WITH THE AMAZING TRACY OLIVERA!

*How's that for Starfuckin, Tracy?*
:)

Anonymous said...

Woo hoo! Already had plans to see that one. (I would have gone out of my way to see you, though.)

Can't wait.

STEPHEN GREGORY SMITH said...

Thanks, Sherri. Looks like it wil be a good time. I always have a good time when Matt Bogart is involved!
:)
I will post a sequel to "My Nemesis" after I stay there again on Saturday night. Pray for me.

Anonymous said...

A good time. Involving Matt Bogart. Tboy surfs over here looking for a permalink about the dog, and he gets *that* for a mental picture.

STEPHEN GREGORY SMITH said...

As I said before, there are worse mental pictures to get!

STEPHEN GREGORY SMITH said...

PS...all of you can see my updated blog at www.StephenGregory.blogspot.com

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